| Clues | Answers |
|---|---|
| 'Help me out here, I could be more condescending' | BEAPAL |
| 'Interstate Love Song' band, briefly (I had it on colored vinyl) | STP |
| 'Put a sock in it, I'm spreading wisdom here, people' | SHUTTHEHELLUP |
| 'The Godfather' first name, it's a classic film so you should know this | VITO |
| 'Un Ballo in Maschera' song that means 'it was you' if you spoke Italian (I do) | ERITU |
| '___ have something smart to say about that' | IMAY |
| 17-Across like a 41-Across | MANSPLAIN |
| Answer to the question 'Who is more knowledgable about things than me?' | NOONE |
| Apple appointment app you might use to get your life together | ICAL |
| Aware of, as the fact that this puzzle is making fun of douches who 55-Across | ONTO |
| Barely worth mentioning, like whatever you do vis-a-vis my brilliant career | MERE |
| Barley grain pasta, it's good with kale | ORZO |
| Beer that's got a lot of hops (you'd probably prefer a Heineken or Coors) | PALEALE |
| Borscht base (borscht is a delicious soup I know how to cook) | BEETS |
| Bring a house down - it's like an apartment, only bigger and for one family | RAZE |
| British nobleman | EARL |
| Buzzard relative, big wings, eats dead animals, get it? | VULTURE |
| Candlelight event for remembering, say, the patriarchy before it crumbles | VIGIL |
| Car roof you can take off (not ACTUALLY, just for a ride or something) | TTOP |
| Church bells sound, I know, you wouldn't know as you're a heathen who's never stepped foot in a church before or even walked by one | PEAL |
| Comic unit (I prefer graphic novels, which are serious comics) | STRIP |
| Dicks (it's the formal word, so you may not know it yet) | PHALLI |
| Dish in a lab used for examining cultures (those are science terms for those who haven't studied science) | PETRI |
| DJ Lowe who played my band once - I'm a very talented musician | ZANE |
| Dumps, like condos that can't afford cleaners | STIES |
| Easy question, metaphorically (again NOT actually | LOB |
| Eel, in sushi-speak - it's delicious | UNAGI |
| Estimator's phrase, they make educated guesses | ORSO |
| Federal agcy. that takes money from your paycheck - they take a lot from me, trust me | IRS |
| Final purpose you might seek if you had direction | ENDALL |
| Flap one's gums, that's slang for 'talk incessantly' | BLAB |
| Floor cleaner's tool...it probably touched where you're standing | MOP |
| Gay icon Minnelli, watch 'Cabaret' when you have a moment it's very important | LIZA |
| General Rommel (he's a historical figure from World War II) | ERWIN |
| Gun org. full of people who *get* me | NRA |
| Head coverings (like, you put them on your head) | CAPS |
| I have one for fine art | EYE |
| Indifferent to pain, as one should be | STOIC |
| Instagram posting (follow me @fleetwoodwack for some mind-blowing shit) | PIC |
| Clues | Answers |
|---|---|
| Julia Roberts's ex Lyle, he's a country singer | LOVETT |
| Kill the sound, like I bet you wish you could do with someone talking like a 41-Across | MUTE |
| Large animal in the deer family (not actual family, but in the species sense) | ELK |
| Like many fifth-graders - ask your cousin | AGETEN |
| Literally everybody at the office beneath me | PEON |
| Little ones that you give to your hired help to push around in jogging carriages | TOTS |
| Money for a club membership, join a couple when you have a chance | DUES |
| Neglects to mention, as I can't seem to understand how to do | OMITS |
| One who talks like he's obviously superior but he's actually just privileged | CHAUVINISTPIG |
| Opera highlight - it's a high-cultured thing kind of like a 'musical' only in a foreign language | ARIA |
| Parkinson's battler that Robert De Niro's character took in 'Awakenings,' you should watch it sometime | LDOPA |
| Part of an attack plan (in war) | PRONG |
| Pasta shaped like a tube, that's like a cylinder only without tops | ZITI |
| Playful prank, for example pretending I don't know what I'm talking about | ANTIC |
| Rayed autumn flower, that's the time of year we go back to school | ASTER |
| Really digging, as I am myself | INTO |
| Said with a wink (a blink but with only one eye) | SLY |
| Send forth, as light (did you take physics?) | EMIT |
| Shrinking Asian sea (I've traveled in Asia) | ARAL |
| Singer Lou who is very good - he sounds like some singers that you might know like Al Green | RAWLS |
| Ski resort in New Mexico because Vail was so 2009 | TAOS |
| Skin and bones, metaphorically (not literally) | LEAN |
| Slow, graceful dance I learned how to do it at Juilliard | MINUET |
| Small obstacle in plans that aren't good | HITCH |
| Spread wisdom as people should let me do more often | ORATE |
| Stop existing, as the patriarchy | DIE |
| Strahan's co-host (on TV) | RIPA |
| Street corner things that tell you you can't park here, if you should stop, where to go, etc | SIGNS |
| Submarine sandwich - I make a great one | HOAGIE |
| Superman's accessory (he's a very strong superhero) | CAPE |
| Terrible shame, but you'll get over it | PITY |
| Things I give 10% for, no matter what (I had to work for my money) | TIPS |
| Treat condescendingly, like the clues in this puzzle | PATRONIZE |
| TV show that's not nearly as good as a real show like 'The Wire' because it takes place in a high school and is a musical | GLEE |
| Twerking body part, if you're a peasant | ASS |
| Uses, as a chair - or the floor if you don't understand what a chair is | SITSON |
| Vincent van Gogh chopped one off (painter who painted 'The Starry Night') | EAR |
| Volume button, it's the round thing on the stereo | KNOB |
| What Rosie does on some posters (from history) | RIVET |
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